No weekend pass

Checking in with nutritionist I asked several questions yesterday regarding the weekend. As mentioned in my last post we connect via text. I didn’t hear back for a few hours. I know he has a very busy schedule on Friday but still was quite anxious. I was glad for the delay though because it gave […]

Half way, need advice

Doing well but… I have to admit I do feel a bit more clear, meaning I can think  and communicate better. I now realize that when I’m doing poorly I lose my sense of humor although I’ve never thought of myself as funny. When I said that all the girls jumped in and said I […]

Depression, a monologue

Written a few days ago during poetry group. I couldn’t understand the poem so simply wrote. Depression I’m so depressed I can’t write. I need coffee desperately or I’m going to fall asleep; I was fine earlier. Not wanting to go with the others to see the eclipse? Depression. I love all things Space. What’s wrong […]

Feeling better

I couldn’t stand the pain, anguish and crushing loneliness any longer. I asked the RA (house supervisor) to come in my room to talk. I dumped everything, crying, ranting, getting everything inside me out: fears, disappointments, hurts, all of it.  She helped me come back to, well, me.  She invited me to get back on […]

Week One complete (updated)

I’m not going to lie, this has been excruciating. What a shock. This weekend has been trial after trial after trial. We have a Saturday program from around 9am to 2pm. We bring our snack and have it at the place we go to, then do the activity, then go out to eat at a […]

Comparing timeĀ 

I compare, it’s awful. Why can’t I mind my own business? I compare body size, I compare food, I compare illnesses, I compare life. The worst part of beginning treatment is comparing estimates time for discharge. One girl is here for 12 weeks, another 8, etc. the girl that came in the same day is […]

Cautionary tale, body damage

Many of us go through a period of denial, simply not believing we are sick enough to get treatment or that we are not as bad as, well, whatever is being implied.  Yesterday I met with the doctor/psychiatrist, nutritionist and assigned therapist. The doctor confirmed my EKG was reflective of my current health (malnutritioned) and […]