honesty

Okay, let’s get honest. I seem to have been living in excuse-ville. I am a very honest person but anorexia is not. It is manipulative and minimizes everything. My nutritionist has heard it all. I went on and on at my appointment, minimizing and defending my behavior, when I should have started with, “what do […]

Thank you!

I’d like to thank all those who’ve commented on my previous post regarding labels. Despite what my therapist said it was confirmed my diagnosis as AN. However, I felt that arguing semantics with my therapist would only waste time otherwise spent on therapeutic issues. And really, does it even matter? When she reviewed our previous […]

To the bone, a mistake

I just watched the To The Bone movie. Here is my advice if you have an ED whether struggling, in recovery, anything: DONT WATCH IT Omg, it was so triggering!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After 5 minutes I knew I should have deleted it but did I? No!  What do I want to do now? 10,000 sit-ups! Ugh Wow […]

Difficult nutrition appointment 

Yesterday I had a very difficult nutrition appointment. First I told him what I was doing with my therapist.1. Every night before bed I am making a note of how I feel, my emotion, for ED behavior (success so to speak). Then I do the same for recovery success. This is to help me get […]

Catching up with bits and pieces 

I haven’t done a general update for quite some time, so here it is. 1. I stopped playing the guitar. I couldn’t afford the lessons anymore but even before that I was practicing less and less. I needed a fully active brain and mine was basically mush. I mean, even when I’m totally compliant, it’s […]

Why can’t I just eat?!

My normal appointment with my nutritionist was yesterday and as I suspected he wanted me to get back on track straight away. Okay… seemed reasonable, right? Dinner was torture but I managed, and even ate my evening snack as I drove home. It’s a 1/3rd cup of nuts so a lot! But I did it. […]