One day, one hour, one moment

That title is my new focus… taking each moment, each meal, each situation at a time, at least that is what I want my focus to be. Being mindful takes practice and even after 6 weeks, I suck at it. Some things you pick up quickly, some things you don’t; for me it’s mindfulness. Last weekend I did pop on to Coursera and they have a course on that very topic. I’ll be late in starting but hopefully I can still enroll. Who knows, maybe approaching it from an academic point of view might be better. 

I also realized, like when I was 5 yrs old, I was having temper tantrums. I’m 52, 53 next week; perhaps hanging out on a pity pot isn’t the solution. 

The reason we are sent home is for this very reason – transition then troubleshooting. I also wasted my appointment with the IFS therapist, because it was Monday, having as mentioned a temper tantrum. Time to grow up. 

I finally cracked open the IFS workbook and started from the beginning. Because there are less people in the program right now the IFS therapist said she’d be willing to meet with me again for a more productive appointment. I’m working my way through the book and it’s making a wee bit more sense so who knows, maybe I’ll get something useful to take home with me. My regular at home therapist doesn’t do IFS but she is trained in it so will know what I’m talking about. I’m figuring we can transition it into our regular type of work and maybe it will have been useful in getting in touch with the parts of me that are still feeling damaged, like when I was 7 yrs old. 

For right now though I need to sort through everything and wrap up stuff. I’m currently reading French Toast for Breakfast, declaring peace with emotional eating by Mary Anne Cohen. She is explaining the emotions, etc behind different eating disorder behaviors. At least that is as far as I’ve gotten. This passage sums up the anorexic declaration. 

Look how strong I am. I have no needs.  I don’t need food. I don’t need anyone. I have triumphed over my weaknesses and I am in control!

I’m currently reading the section on fear of fat

The other book I’m reading is The Courage to Feel, a practical guide to the power and freedom of emotional honesty by Andrew Seubert. I’m clueless to identifying what I’m feeling unless it’s anger or sadness. I hope this helps me. I’ll have to pop over to the Sol Stone library so I can post reviews of other books I’ve read. 

This is the IFS book I’m working through. 

Here are a couple pages from the workbook looking at the different parts, sub personalities, or aspects of myself. Hope they’re readable. 

I better get to it. It’s 330am and others start getting up at 445/5am. 

Oh, they closed Sol Stone yesterday due to snow (I live in the Northeast US) so I might add a day next week before discharging. 

Okay, back to work… and coffee of course. 😊☕️🎧

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