Test results: basket case

Yesterday was my initial assessment. They did a body composition test and tested my metabolism as well. The 2 ½ hour drive there was spent minimizing my problem to the point of my wondering why I was going in the first place.

Right off I apologized for being so big, that I had only relapsed last month so hadn’t lost the appropriate weight to be seeking treatment. No doubt she’s heard it all.

She asked, “what do you want from me?”

“Ummmm, a babysitter?” I didn’t know how to respond probably because I don’t ever like to ask anything regarding getting my own needs met.

She continued, probably realizing this, “tell me about  the last month.”

If I stood outside myself and heard what came out of my mouth, that ought to have been convincing enough. I was surprised when I listed everything together. She then shared the results of the tests. Honestly I didn’t understand a lot of it; I don’t have a biology or medical background. However, it was dire, apparently. Due to malnutrition my body is burning way more muscle tissue and far less fat. That might be because my body fat is so low? I don’t know. Then she showed me where my metabolism ought to be compared to what it is now – meaning slower. There was a another test I completely didn’t understand beyond the great concern on her face. She said it should show me at some level or another based on my age, etc but it was really far off that. That meant I was aging at twice the speed as normal because my body was breaking down. She also explained how damaging all this is to my immune system which explains a current infection I just got, a type of infection I never get. She said it would cause loads of complications to my fibro.

Anyway, on and on… she called in the coordinator right away to determine treatment options. It wasn’t whether I needed treatment but what kind. Sigh….. wow. It didn’t hit me till I was driving home. Thank goodness for the long drive back and very loud music!

At the end of the interview I said I didn’t understand how sick I was because  I had so much extra weight on me (my perception obviously since I know I’m underweight) and she just said, “stop.”

They both admonished that it was good I came in now so that the progression could be stopped before I had catastrophic physical problems.

The coordinator is calling me this morning, about 3 hrs from now, for a phone intake to determine the level of care I need. It’s good she is doing this right away since the longer the time is in between the more I justify and minimize my behavior. Then it will off to the races with insurance coverage and the like. they told me outright to cancel my trip across the country.

Okay, next post will be a post intake update.

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