So here’s the thing, because the fibro I need loads of rest everyday. I’m not talking about naps or anything but rather time away from so much stimulus. This generally takes the form of watching TV with headphones and crocheting. I need this and if I don’t do it I deteriorate. I have learned this but sadly don’t always remember it, grrrr.
Enter kitten. I was feeling good so hadn’t thought it through and I haven’t had a kitten for a very long time so really didn’t have a clue on how much time and attention it takes to care one. What I didn’t realize was that during my rest and restore time all the extra stimulus, so to speak, from Mika was too much. Basically I haven’t had any rest time since I got her. Then, at night, the kitty cat noise kept me up. As mentioned I wasn’t sleeping, or rather, it was taking such a long time to fall asleep that I was even less rested on a daily basis. I’m hyper aware, which is why zazen practice is so helpful. I hear everything. Normally I seal off my room and the only sound is my white noise app for the tinnitus.
Finally, Friday, I went a little nuts. I couldn’t even crochet; I had to just lie on the couch and watch tv to try to pass time till I felt better and still the it ten was carrying on. It finally sank into my head that the kitten would have to go. Maybe someday I could get an older cat that leans toward laziness or something but not for a good long while. I contacted the Ten Lives Club to return her and did that yesterday. My hope is that she gets a family home that she deserves. I almost stopped in the shop to visit her but new that was a bad, bad idea so didn’t.
Last night after the meeting I came home and yeah, it was a little sad that I didn’t have the little cuddlyness waiting for me but almost immediately felt settled. I know I’d get sleep. I didn’t sleep as log as I’d like but that was man inky because I didn’t get to bed till late. I woke up feeling far better th ugh and got a large part of my flat cleaned and organized. After that I felt way, way better. I felt like I might be going toward hypo mania but maybe it was just from quality sleep. Whatever the case it I took advantage and cleaned. By the time I got to the meeting though I was definitely fatigued so came home after and am resting, or maybe a better word would be that I’m rebooting, for the rest of this afternoon until time to leave for tonight’s meeting.
So hopefully this long lasting fibro flair will calm down and I’ll feel better soon.